Dear Ann, Each one walks this temporary separation of our loved ones alone. How you adjust is yours to discover.
In my thoughts I feel that we create what I call an 'us' between any two people that interact.
The "US" we become part of with a loving partner is unique to those two that share and treasure it.
It is so hard to go back to being a "me" again. I struggle with it each day, still.
What I have found is that when I am loving others my grief is less. I am using the things I learned in my true love with my mate to share love with others.
Our love continues to spread love in the world through me. That makes being "me" important. I am what I am because I have known love. So many have not.
I continue to learned that I, myself, alone, am still a loving and caring being.
I lost the mate, for now, but I know he lives and loves me, still. I will catch up with him later.
For now, I want the joy of love in my life and this world. I try to share it.
On the dark days I let the tears fall, but I reach for those that I love and that love me to say I need a hand. I can't do it alone.
May those who love you reach out to you. Do not be afraid to reach out for their loving help.
You don't have to do it alone, you just have to learn to look to others than your partner to fill your needs now.
It's not easy. It can be done. I'm still doing it and so are you.
Give yourself credit for even still being here and trying. You havent' quit or given up at the hardest part of life.
However you are getting through it, you HAVE gotten through it!
You will find your balance and joy in living again. If you were not seeking it you wouldn't be here still.
Be good to yourself today.
Sometimes I have actually thought, what would the mate do for me if he were still here? It's not the same when you do it for yourself, but doing it in memory of the love we shared reminds me I am worth the extra effort to him, I need to be worth the extra effort to me.
Take a hot soak, a day off, get a new blouse, buy a box of candy, whatever it is that you miss from him give it to yourself and smile, knowing you are precious, still.
I know this got long, I hear your hurt heart though. Mine has been gone two years and three months on the 26th. I know the days I have been without him.
But not all of them are without love and smiles in them. I had to look for others to share that with me. They are there.
Don't hole up and hurt, reach out and heal. May God touch you and comfort you today.
